A small marital rant...
It is Friday evening and my husband is out working on the baler that he doesn't need anytime soon so it isn't that important to get it fixed. I am stuck at home once again with the kids. Yes I love my kids but if you have ever been a stay at home mom on a strict budget (meaning you hardly ever leave the house) you know I need a break once in awhile.
Chris came home like he usually does at 4. He asked what was for supper and I told him I had a pork loin in the fridge thawed, and I would make some sides to go with it. So he left. aisdfghakjshf!!!!
Said he wouldn't be too long...it is now 7, supper is ready...and he won't answer his phone. Seriously?!? I am about to go nuts. I know Cooper is just at THAT age but I am so sick and tired of the questions and the whines! He won't be quiet! It is a constant yap. And then there is Sophia who WILL NOT POTTY TRAIN. This girl will hold her pee for HOURS and not sit on the potty chair or toilet. As soon as the diaper is on it is FULL. They will not play together if I ask them too.
I need a break away from the kids. I would like to take a break with my husband, but we have NO BABYSITTER that will keep the overnight. My parents won't keep them because "they are too busy"--I don't want to even get started with that.
Chris and I can't afford to go on vacation, but I would just like to be able to stay home and clean the house! It would take a day or two of constant cleaning to get it as clean as I want it. But I can't even have that! My house is a disaster and I can't stand it. I just want to light it all on fire. We have way too much stuff and not enough space. 700 sq ft is way too small for a family of 4. We have 2 bedrooms, 1 tiny bath, a tiny kitchen, living room, and a tiny utility room.
Chris wants to someday build a house...but at this rate I would settle for a $2000 trailer house as long as I had my own bathroom and could shut my bedroom door. This house is okay for a starter home...which is what it was supposed to be...but then the kids came and we make no more money than we did before they were here- in fact we make less. I can't work and put the kids in daycare because daycare cost more than what I could make. I hate living like this.
I would like to do a lot of things differently, but I don't even know where to get started. I would like to finish college, get a job/start my business, home school the kids, build a house etc etc etc. We could afford to live somewhere else but Chris doesn't want to until we can afford a farm. At this rate we are never going to be able to afford a farm. We are either going to have to use Mom and Dad's land (like we do now) or move to Weaubleau and use his grandparents' land (which we do part of the time) If we do move to Weaubleau I will definitely home school. One thing Weaubleau is known for is meth labs and marijuana. Chris doesn't know this but I would like to move there. I just want to get away from Half Way. I do like it here, but I have been here ALL of my life. I just want to live someplace different.
I am tired of feeling like a kid- I want to be treated as an adult. My parents still treat me like a kid. I am so sick of it. There are some days I just want to get in the car and drive away. But I can't do that because I am an ADULT.
<<end rant for now>>
It is Friday evening and my husband is out working on the baler that he doesn't need anytime soon so it isn't that important to get it fixed. I am stuck at home once again with the kids. Yes I love my kids but if you have ever been a stay at home mom on a strict budget (meaning you hardly ever leave the house) you know I need a break once in awhile.
Chris came home like he usually does at 4. He asked what was for supper and I told him I had a pork loin in the fridge thawed, and I would make some sides to go with it. So he left. aisdfghakjshf!!!!
Said he wouldn't be too long...it is now 7, supper is ready...and he won't answer his phone. Seriously?!? I am about to go nuts. I know Cooper is just at THAT age but I am so sick and tired of the questions and the whines! He won't be quiet! It is a constant yap. And then there is Sophia who WILL NOT POTTY TRAIN. This girl will hold her pee for HOURS and not sit on the potty chair or toilet. As soon as the diaper is on it is FULL. They will not play together if I ask them too.
I need a break away from the kids. I would like to take a break with my husband, but we have NO BABYSITTER that will keep the overnight. My parents won't keep them because "they are too busy"--I don't want to even get started with that.
Chris and I can't afford to go on vacation, but I would just like to be able to stay home and clean the house! It would take a day or two of constant cleaning to get it as clean as I want it. But I can't even have that! My house is a disaster and I can't stand it. I just want to light it all on fire. We have way too much stuff and not enough space. 700 sq ft is way too small for a family of 4. We have 2 bedrooms, 1 tiny bath, a tiny kitchen, living room, and a tiny utility room.
Chris wants to someday build a house...but at this rate I would settle for a $2000 trailer house as long as I had my own bathroom and could shut my bedroom door. This house is okay for a starter home...which is what it was supposed to be...but then the kids came and we make no more money than we did before they were here- in fact we make less. I can't work and put the kids in daycare because daycare cost more than what I could make. I hate living like this.
I would like to do a lot of things differently, but I don't even know where to get started. I would like to finish college, get a job/start my business, home school the kids, build a house etc etc etc. We could afford to live somewhere else but Chris doesn't want to until we can afford a farm. At this rate we are never going to be able to afford a farm. We are either going to have to use Mom and Dad's land (like we do now) or move to Weaubleau and use his grandparents' land (which we do part of the time) If we do move to Weaubleau I will definitely home school. One thing Weaubleau is known for is meth labs and marijuana. Chris doesn't know this but I would like to move there. I just want to get away from Half Way. I do like it here, but I have been here ALL of my life. I just want to live someplace different.
I am tired of feeling like a kid- I want to be treated as an adult. My parents still treat me like a kid. I am so sick of it. There are some days I just want to get in the car and drive away. But I can't do that because I am an ADULT.
<<end rant for now>>
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